God Poke

Do you ever feel like God is poking you? I mean, like not just subtly, but almost "ouch" in the side? Or maybe for some of us it come in the form of a whack over the head because we've gotten used to the "pokes". I've been getting poked lately. Yesterday was particularly bad. I just felt SO down! Like my emotional, physical, and spiritual tanks were running on fumes and there wasn't a gas station in sight. I was sitting at my desk, looking through groggy eyes at the overflow of "to-do" folders in my in-box and just wanting to go crawl right back in bed. Arg. I was tired, cranky, and just had an overall sense of blahness. I was angry at the world for no particular reason and just wanted a break. and then... the poke.

Ouch.

some pokes are good. They make you see stuff that you might have been too distracted to see in the first place. Other pokes are more painful, because they require actions of you that you would rather just run from. God was poking me.

I didn't want to listen.

But. Neither did I want to wait until I had to be royally whacked either. So after trying to shake the feeling on my own for awhile, I finally gave in and over my lunch break went out to the car and pretty much just told God to have at it. I guess this time the poke was all about priorities... or my lack of them lately. I realized that i hadn't given God the time of day pretty much all week, and well, honestly, I've been pretty inconsistent for the past month. I also missed church this week and hadn't gotten much of a chance to hang out with others in my spiritual community. Hence the reason the spiritual tank was getting so low. The physical tank was low because I haven't been exercising as regularly as normal, and also, I've been getting to bed to late. And emotionally, well, I hate to admit this, but this on-set of grey weather really gets me down. I am NOT a grey girl. Also, I'm still adjusting to the whole being a girl-friend thing, and the balance of friends, family and boy friend. It's a lot! (I honestly don't know how some of you could date in high school and then college! I would have had NO time! or at least not been able to graduate in 4 years!) It's been amazing so far, but I didn't realize how much it can take out of you, especially when you try to do everything.

So yeah. It was a good realization. To actually be able to break it all down. And pray about it. A big key to pokes is not just to feel them, but react... and then DO something in your life. So. I decided that there needs to be some change in my life.

• Put God back to first-- I'm thinking this is going to mean I get up a half hour earlier so I can do it in the morning. I've been trying to do my time with God before I go to bed, but lately I've just been soooo exhausted by the time I get there it's almost pointless. Or, on the days I exercise and already get up early, I will set aside time with God during my lunch hour.
• Go to bed earlier. Yeah, this is going to be easier said than done... but even if it's only a half hour it's something. And now with it getting darker earlier, it might not be so bad.
• Set aside at least one day a week for "Jen Time". I have a list of things I need to do..and WANT to do that's about as long as my arm... but keep putting them off. And so they never get done. Silly stuff... like cleaning out under my bed. yeah. lame I know, but it all takes time, and I wasn't giving myself enough of that time.
• Get back to the gym-- I've been rocking on this South Beach Diet thing, but Taebo Billy has been kicking my butt. I've gotta get buff to fight off those winter grey "blahs"

These are just a few of the things I'm going to do. It's not going to be easy (um, hello getting up even EARLIER than I already have to!) but when God pokes you-- from my personal experiences-- it's always better to listen.